we don't have much room to live

you continue to keep your distance. actually, you keep enough for quite a few people.

thank you for texting me on the one night where i had finally resigned to the fact that i wasn't going to hear from you. as fate would have it, i was asleep. needless to say, i will be sleeping one-eye-open-phone-in-hand for the rest of my life.

dear life, very funny. love, eheeter

random dashboard lyric of the day: who cares if we're apart for the big days it's the small ones that made me fall in love with you.

i really wish that child abuse didn't exist-
not for its victims' sake, mind you.
not so the suffering of thousands of children would cease.
not so little susie's meth-addicted mother of 16 would feed her tonight.
but so i wouldn't have to write a damn paper about it.

let me victimize myself at every given opportunity.
thank you come again.

would you ouija board would you ouija board would you work for me?

so i realize i epicfail at updating this thing. but i'm ready to start again. mainly i've been too angry to even think about writing. angry for no reason, angry with reckless abandon, ruthlessly angry despite myself. you'll be glad to know, however, that i have remained the same pathetic excuse for a human being though many months have passed since my last post. i have concluded that i am one of those people who is just meant to be alone because i can't bring myself to care about anything. honestly, i think about all of the qualities that a person looks for when looking for a mate and realize that i possess none of them and predict that i never will. everyone i have ever fallen for doesn't quite consider me worthy of their attention, and everyone that has ever fallen for me is not worthy of mine. so i'm a hypocrite, but at least i respect the right of others to reject me completely. i am satisfied to have friends that know me and at least try to understand.
i'm still holding out for your rapture. maybe one day you will appreciate or at least realize how much i care about you.
jaw surgery= 11 days away. what a way to spend spring break...
hey, i can get sexual too.

the good lies

i like to tell myself that you're not just talking to me now because i have someone new in my life and you want to see if you can succeed in coming between us... again. i say it's not just a game for you (that you have already won two times in a row). i like to think that you genuinely missed me during your vow of silence against me. i want to believe that you want the best for me and would never try to make me regret my decision to move on. you would never take advantage of my feelings for you in order to ultimately hurt me and someone else... again... right?
right.
these are the good lies.

a way to you

hey!!!! i miss justin. urgh :/
in other news, david sedaris has become one of my favorite writers of all time. PROBABALY because the new york times called him the wittiest new yorker since dorothy parker... oh, dp. you will always have me. i am determined to read ALL of his books. why? because, quite simply, he gets me weak. he's so cynical and... i dunno. real? my mother thought there was something wrong with me i was laughing so hard. until she read the book herself. so far 'naked' is a lot funnier than 'me talk pretty one day,' but that's just me. 'me talk pretty one day' made me love david sedaris forever though. i want to read 'when engulfed in flames' next. "it's a beautiful day. get out and smell the goddamned flowers."
i'd say he pretty much gets me.
if carlson and mshamm don't stop making examples of my damn essays i might start thinking i'm doomed to become a writer or something.

a Quartz contentment, like a stone

justin=miracle
i like being a spanish tutor, but i really hope that i'm not destined to become a teacher.
i'm quite excited about the impending handwritten note frenzy betwixt eve and me.
i love james zwack. death... seems heroic to me, and it's hard to explain why.
death is lonely and scary... if you experience it, you must be some kind of brave. right?
i don't make sense to anyone except for me.
love.

realizations

1) i like lists. otherwise, there is no chance of me having any sort of organization
2) in the event of a ramen noodle shortage, the majority of my family would starve and cease to exist
3) this time last year, eve and i were falling in love at the alabama theater over bright eyes
"sell myself for a bight eyes shirt..."
4) this time last year, i was happy
5) this time last year, you were still around
6) two days til my birthday, what the eff?
7) i hate birthdays

i have

1) the vcard
2) the act of congress cd
neither of which you are ever getting back.

you have nothing of mine.
i guess i got the better end of the deal after all.


p.s. i promise this is the end of the hell hath no fury posts.
maybe.