i know, i know

i'm a boonch for that last post. but i was a bit bitter (for good reason?). and therapy is therapy.
i want a deaf boyfriend. anyone who saw true life last night should know why.
HOLY.
CRAP.

i kind of love my life.
i love you in the same way, there's a chapel in a hospital.

first impressions

i'd like to introduce you to my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend :)
maybe she won't find out what i know.

p.s. i quote fall out boy a lot lately, and i don't know why.

ready, set, go gay!

yesterday, i:
fell in love with alex all over agian :)
smoked a cigarette
was the willing recipient of your four a.m. drunk dial (i wish you could remember that you told me you missed me in your drunken stupor)

today, i:
fell in love with alex all over again :)
drank coffee because i couldn't find drugs. i don't even like coffee.
prayed you still had some rum left to fuel yourself for one more call to my phone at four in the morning...

owning everyone i work with in three games of lazer tag was fantastic. anddd i got SWIMMER OF THER YEAR at the swim team banquet, bitchezzz. they prolly just felt bad for making me swim backstroke in the medley relay on sunday. haha.

"and i need to take a pill to make this town feel okay"

OMGAH

omgeez i just got my lesportsac in the mail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)))) i love it. it's perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD nurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

hey soulja boy, can i-

all of the fun buddy mix- isms that i can think of... as of 7/23/08

"i can haz?"/"i can haz my way with you?"
"what are you doing out of my bed?"
"um getinmypants kthanxbi"
"YOU FELT IT TOO???"
midnight thirty/noon thirty/ noon ten, etc.
"YAH BOYS YAH!"
club haunted; team get some
"NURRR"
godPod
"didn't happen"
"PICS or it didn't happen!"
"don't worry about it"
"go out with me MEHHHHHH!"
"hey trick"
mongolian dog/ dog fried rice/ dog rolls, etc.
"in YOUR country..."

goodnight world.

2006

just found this. lawlz.

lust for life

i would die for this bag. srsly? naw not srsly.

i don't have a lot to say today except that i had a pretty good day and i greatly dislike my boss :) also, i got texting back on my phone. thank gawd. i am getting a few of my friends to make me their own playlists for my ipod so that i can name a playlist for each of them, hear the songs and think of them. i'm excited about that. i want to do something really outdoorsy before summer ends. but what?

2 things i got today

1. an ipod
2. over you

thank you, nada surf

Watching terrible TV
It kills all thoughts
Getting spacier than an astronaut
Making out with people I hardly know or like
I can't believe what I do
Late at night

I wanna know what it's like
On the inside of love
I'm standing at the gates
I see the beauty above

Only when we get to see
The aerial view
Will the patterns show
We'll know what to do

I know the last page so well
I can't read the first
So I just don't start
It's getting worse

I wanna know what it's like
On the inside of love
I'm standing at the gates
I see the beauty above

I wanna know what it's like
On the inside of love
I can't find my way in
I try again and again

I'm on the outside of love
Always under or above
I can't find my way in
I try again and again

I'm on the outside of love
Always under or above
Must be a different view
To be a me with a you

I wanna know what it's like
On the inside of love
I'm standing at the gates
I see the beauty above

I wanna know what it's like
On the inside of love
Of course I'll be alrightI just had a bad night

half-japanese :0)

ya srsly!

i encountered an old lover and a potentially new lover today. they both gave me just about the same look. now eve and i are making mac and cheese to chase the pain away. we're both exhausted.. i'm glad i'm not at home tonight. i want to stay away from that place.

p.s. next time, i WILL lay my head against your shoulder.

i am jill's suppressed passion

i have to work at 4:30 in the morning tomorrow. haven't had to do that since... well, you know. that was one of the best days of my life, by the way. that freezing cold morning, huddled together in my car together and the scent of vodka so heavy on your breath that i could hardly stand to kiss you. and i loved you.

fun buddy mix

never underestimate the power of a sonic run and an overwhelmingly asian video game :)
today i was thinking about how very thankful i am for my friends. they heave made this summer unforgettable. they accept me and my crazy quirks...they have never abandonned me... they love me for who i am and we have the BEST times together. i spent so many days last year being sad, but all of the happy days i've had this summer have all but made up for them. i dunno, i'm really content right now. but i think i have an ear infection :/

i don't care i like you!

today i bought a sparrow necklace because i want to fly away from you...

then lesley and i drove around in my convertible with the top down, blasting portions for foxes. liberating.

it was an inspirational day.

i hope you had fun at senior pictures. why am i jealous of everyone you come in contact with? pshhh. but no matter what, i had you first.

maybe i'll be able to get to sleep before 2 a.m. tonight.... just maybe. this whole six hours of sleep thing is killin' me, but it's keeping me alive.

every day is not like today

my life is complicated.
i have so much to say i don't know where to begin. i am in perpetual pain and i have been this way for a long time. some days are worse than others, but mainly i just hurt all of the time. i have told myself so many times to just let it go and move on, but how am i supposed to just "let go" of something that changed my life completely? how am i supposed to let my best friend, confidant, and first love walk away from me forever without even giving me an explanation as to why? over a year of bliss ended in just a few moments. promises were broken and my trust in you, my very best friend, was shattered. every night since then i stay awake thinking about all of the nights we spent together, staying up until all hours of the morning and then falling asleep with smiles on our faces... i want those nights back so badly. every morning i wake up and think about what i must've done wrong and what i should've done differently. answers never come. not from you, not from myself. i suppose i will never know why you changed your mind about me. i want to be your friend but it just kills me how you are able to carry on with your life like i never even existed to you. like i never even existed...
it's funny. you knew every single thing about me. it's a shame you couldn't find something to love.

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they should've called it ventspot.com