my life is complicated.
i have so much to say i don't know where to begin. i am in perpetual pain and i have been this way for a long time. some days are worse than others, but mainly i just hurt all of the time. i have told myself so many times to just let it go and move on, but how am i supposed to just "let go" of something that changed my life completely? how am i supposed to let my best friend, confidant, and first love walk away from me forever without even giving me an explanation as to why? over a year of bliss ended in just a few moments. promises were broken and my trust in you, my very best friend, was shattered. every night since then i stay awake thinking about all of the nights we spent together, staying up until all hours of the morning and then falling asleep with smiles on our faces... i want those nights back so badly. every morning i wake up and think about what i must've done wrong and what i should've done differently. answers never come. not from you, not from myself. i suppose i will never know why you changed your mind about me. i want to be your friend but it just kills me how you are able to carry on with your life like i never even existed to you. like i never even existed...
it's funny. you knew every single thing about me. it's a shame you couldn't find something to love.
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