our ideas held no water, but we used them like a dam.

Hello. So when would be the most convenient time for you to break my heart?
So this, I guess, goes back to three days ago...and last night as well. Because it rarley ever happens just once (It's the nature of the experiment, taking me in increments). It continues to go like a cycle, or a wave, and you have to stay with it until it washes you up, cold and desperate, onto the shore.
But I'm finally coming to grips with something that I should have acknowledged a long time ago. Because this isn't the first time this has happened, or I that I have let it happen. This is not the first time I have felt this way, and judging from my past it surely won't be the last.
Giving someone part of you does not entitle you to so much as a portion of their goodwill, or for that matter, any further acknowlegement of your existence whatsoever.
It's a painful phenomenon that has seemed to follow me out of each and every lover's grip. But it's never stung like it does right now. I actually value and desire his concern for me, moreso than I ever have with anyone else. He matters. And our relationship matters to me. It's trite as hell, but he's so much greater than anyone I have ever known (You are the Best One of the Best Ones). Everything about him enthralls me (Excuse my French emotion and my passion, but I wear my heart on my sleeve like is's the new fashion). I refuse to let him get away, and I refuse to let him forget about me. Even if I never mean shit to him, he has to remember...
If he would just embrace the fact that I care about him, maybe things wuld be so much better for me. He accepts my friendship. And my quirks. So I guess I can't aske for much more than that. But I don't know if he realizes how hung up I am on him. I mean, it's been eight months. And my feelings have only continued to grow.
But I'm not going to whine or expect anyone to feel sorry for me, because this is the choice I have made, and I knew that this would be the probable outcome. Besides, the times that we spend together are second to none. No bullshit, no controversey, just enjoyment. And I know things like this usually don't add up to much in the end, as has become quite apparent. But still, you always hope you'll be the exception...

Darlin I wish you well, on your way to the wishing well